


In Darkness I Wait For You

by 221bBagEnd



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Hurt Tony Stark, IronWinter - Freeform, Love, M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Team Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-06-10 07:43:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6946147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221bBagEnd/pseuds/221bBagEnd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was no denying that Tony had been left a broken man after the events of Civil War, but the question was could he heal? Maybe those who had been his enemy could be so much more. And maybe, just maybe, he hadn't lost everything. Life was slow in coming back to Tony but all it would take was the understanding of his team and a love that he had never expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Here's Where We Start

**Author's Note:**

> I am not dealing well with my feelings about Civil War and I needed to vent. Also, Tony needs love and hugs not abuse, the people at Marvel HQ clearly didn't get this memo. 
> 
> More chapters to come because I hopelessly adore the characters and love writing them.

Two years. It had been two fucking years since the giant cluster fuck that had been dubbed by the media as ‘Civil War’. Two years since he’d so much as seen the people that he had once proudly called family. Two years that had been nothing short of a battle everyday, amending the Sokovia Accords and calling in every favour that he had and then some to get full pardons for the people who had so gladly torn him apart. Two years since he’d been left bleeding and broken in Siberia, not even his suit or Friday left to bail him out. He’d been so sure that was where he was going to die, glad even that it was. But no, fate had played the cruelest of jokes, Tony Stark had lived; had somehow clung onto life once more. 

Two fucking years and it felt like nothing had changed. He may as well have been back in that God forsaken Hydra lair for all the welcome that his home now held. And wasn’t that just another sad truth amongst many? They were all back, every damn one of them and Tony couldn’t face them. The world saw it as some kind of miracle, the wonder gang all back together ready to avenge shit and look fabulous doing it; yet the very thought of it made Tony sick to his stomach. This wasn’t the miracle that everyone thought it was, it was a disaster, another one amongst the many that littered Tony’s empty hollow existence. The kicker was that he’d fought for this, publicly spoken in defense of them despite everything that had been done to him, despite everything that the world had seen them do. 

Gone was the day when the heroes were regarded as heroes, no the world knew better now. They’d seen the footage of the Winter Soldier killing Tony’s parents, had seen the band of heroes once so close turn to enemies. They used to be heroes, defenders of all that was good blah blah blah, and what were they now? Were they really the miracle that the world so badly wanted them to be or merely pretenders?

Just because everyone wanted to move on and look beyond past differences didn’t mean that Tony could or even would. He was Iron Man and that meant he would fight, he owed the world at least that much. But as Tony he could be the bitter and broken man that hid from the world. That was the one role that he didn’t need to play, in truth it was all that he had left. Tony was nothing more now than the aching loneliness and despair that had filled his very marrow. He was a broken thing, riddled with more holes than he cared to notice, hold him up to the harsh light of day and you could see through him. He was a mere shade of his former self, he had never been some great paragon of heroism but at least he had been human. His humanity had been stripped from him along with everything else, now he was a shell, a shell haunted by memories and drowning under regret. Yes, this was Tony this was all that was left.

Tony smiled, clutching the tumbler of scotch impossibly tight, feeling the satisfying crush of broken shards beneath his palm. His hand dripped crimson, dripping lazily onto the ground beneath him. Tony looked at it and laughed, crumbling to the floor of his workshop. This is the great Tony Stark he thought as the darkness that he been swimming on the edge of his vision wrapped around him and pulled him into the only rest that his body now knew.

 

***

“Where’s Tony?” Bucky asked, directing his question to Steve as he made his way into the communal kitchen.

The base had once more become the home of the Avengers, and now to Bucky as well. He’d been two weeks and he’d yet to see the genius that had once again given them all a home. The only person not in residence was Clint, after two years as a criminal he had jumped at the chance to return to his family.  _I never would have left my children to go and fight someone else's fight._ Bucky's mind helpfully supplied, there were very few things that he and Tony saw eye to eye on, if anything, but that was one of them.  _He never should have been involved. Never should have blamed Stark for getting his dumb ass stuck in prison._  

Bruce looked up at the arrival of Bucky, took one look at his freshly washed appearance and then snorted in disgust leaving the kitchen as fast as he could, stopping only to grab his cup of coffee and paper that he had been perusing. _I guess some things don’t change. That man will never forgive us for what we did to Tony and he wasn't even there._ Bucky was determined to let it go, he wasn't going to pick a fight with Bruce, in fact he more than thought he deserved the treatment that he got. He should have been detained, should have never been let go until they'd gotten rid of all the Winter Soldier programming. There was nothing he could say in his defence, a point which had raised so many arguments between himself and Steve. Regardless of the fact that there were other Winter Soldiers out there he should have just played ball with the authorities and given the information up, instead he'd forced Steve to once more choose his side against all logic and ripped the Avengers and Tony apart in the process.  _I have so much to answer for, most of all to Tony._

"He won't leave his workshop, or so I think. Friday is refusing to give me any information." Steve didn't even bother looking up, just glared at the cereal in front of him as if it were the real enemy. Bucky hated that Steve was like this, hated that there was so much hostility between all of them. Wanda, Nat and Sam had at least made some progress with Rhodey and Vision. Bruce may as well be a lost cause to them all, Tony had told him nothing but Bruce wasn't an idiot and had done his own investigating. Tony had been the only one not afraid of him, the only one that accepted him as he was, green rage monster and all, and for that Bruce would always be loyal to him.

"Rhodes would know wouldn't he? Tony has to be talking to someone." All Bucky wanted was to speak to Tony, he needed to make this right.

"That's a great idea Buck, only no one will talk to me! Rhodey is pretending I don't exist and the others a being so damn civil and polite I'm certain its become a team sport. Even Nat and Sam are avoiding me. Everyone has had the chance to speak to Tony, as brief as that may have been, except you and me!" Steve growled out at Bucky, his eyes filled with anger. He was more mad than Bucky had ever seen him, Steve was always the composed one but then no one else could get under his skin like Tony could.

"Did they say anything, give you an update of any kind?" Steve seemed to deflate at that, all the fight leaving him.

"'s not good Buck. Sam said he didn't look good but that apparently has been the norm around here for a while. Nat just said we all owed him more than an apology. But I said my piece Buck-"

"You gave him god damned letter and a piece of crap phone to call you on! How well do you think that would have gone down if you'd done that to me Steve? He was your team mate, your friend, hell let's be honest here he was your family and we broke that Steve. How can you still not get it after all this time? We were out of line Steve. Fuck if Clint can see that you think you would be able to." Steve stared open mouthed at Bucky's outburst, the super soldier shaking with anger the gears in his arm whirring as they often did when he was agitated. Bucky glared at Steve, one hand curled into a fist determined not to punch his friend whilst the other angrily pushed hair out his line of sight.

" Get off your ass soldier and follow me, we are gonna start fixing this right the fuck now," Bucky stepped forward the scant few steps to where Steve was perched on the stool at the breakfast bar and grabbed his arm, pulling him into motion even as he continued to berate him, "we are going down to his workshop, or wherever the fuck he is and we are going to face up to him. I don't care if I have to bust in, I will chew the doors off of the hinges if I have to. I killed his parents, and we took away the only family he'd ever known and broke him in the process. I don't know about you Steve but I damn sure was raised better than that."

Bucky pulled on Steve's arm, he was on a roll and he wasn't going to stop anytime soon. He had been itching to do this since he'd finally come to his senses and been rid of the Winter Soldier. He was not a man who was a stranger to regret but what he and by extension Steve had done to Tony had left a bitter taste in his mouth. They were going to make this right, not just for Tony but for the sake of the team. There was no way they could defend anyone like this and it was only a matter of time before that alarm sounded and they would all be thrown back into battle once more. That was what Bucky feared the most, that they would be thrown into a fight they couldn't win all because they weren't a team. People were going to die and every death would once again be their fault, just another life that they could have saved if they'd all looked beyond themselves for once.

"Friday, open the door to the workshop please." Buck huffed out, he knew there was no way that the AI wasn't going to fight him on this.

"You don't have access to this floor Mr Barnes." If it was possible for a computer program to sound mad than Tony's sure as heck did. 

"Friday I'm asking nicely, please open the door. I'm getting into that room whether you like it or not the question is how much damage are you prepared for me to cause?" Bucky growled, he was not losing this fight. Steve just stared at the floor like a kicked puppy.  _Fine, if that's how you want to play it Steve I'll handle it myself._

"If you upset or hurt him in any way I will summon Dr Banner and have you forcibly removed from the compound am I clear Barnes?" Yeah, Friday was definitely pissed.

"Agreed. Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet Sergeant." Friday ominously announced even as she unsealed the heavy glass doors that sealed Tony off from everyone else. Bucky pushed Steve forward, ignoring the half-hearted glare that was thrown his way in response. Bucky had been brave up to this point, fuelled mostly by his anger at Steve and himself, now that he was here he was once more terrified not of what Tony would do to him but to see what he had done to Tony.

Both men steeled themselves as they entered Tony's domain, this was one battle they couldn't afford to back down from. Upstairs the other members of the team waited in tense anticipation, Friday having notified them of the recent development. Steve and Bucky didn't just have to fear Friday's wrath if they messed this up, there was a room full of people united and ready to come to Tony's aid.

"Jesus Tony I-" Steve looked back helplessly at Bucky once more.  _What have I done?_

 

 

 

 

 


	2. All Out Of Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for any and all pain I cause Tony. I would also like to state that I take no responsibility for what certain characters may do to Steve. I have no control over them and they all just run rampant in my imagination.

_"Jesus Tony I-" Steve looked back helplessly at Bucky once more. What have I done?_

Bucky saw the panic in Steve's face and pushed past him to see what had the man so rattled. Bucky had never been in Tony's workshop but it was exactly how he imagined it would be, there were machine parts and tools everywhere and despite the innumerable items littering every surface there was obviously order here. This room spoke volumes about the man who inhabited it, unlike every other room in the compound Tony's lab wasn't impersonal in the least, his personality was everywhere. Bucky was so caught up looking at the sheer enormity of _things_ littered around the room that he failed to notice the genius at first.

Tony was sprawled out on the too small cot in the corner of the room, it had never been designed to be utilised as a bed just merely a place for Tony to rest for short periods in between his inventing binges. All too often now though it was the only place that Tony could find rest, here surrounded by the various familiar trappings of his life he felt safe. Or as safe as he could be. Bucky finally realised what had Steve so spooked, the man laying in the cot was nothing like the man that he had faced in battle. This man was a spectre, a shadow of his former self, there was nothing familiar left. It looked as if everything that had made him Iron Man had been carved away from him.

Bucky understood with dawning terror why Steve was so horrified, the man laying in the cot was nothing like the man that Steve spoke about so often. Steve rushed forward needing to see that he was breathing at least, were it not for the infinitesimal movement in Tony's chest Steve would have thought him dead. Bucky followed after Steve, navigating the numerous projects in the lab coming to stand next to them both. In this moment, there was nothing that he could say to comfort Steve, and maybe that was fitting, maybe they didn't deserve comfort. The proof of the destruction that they had wrought was painfully obvious. Cities could be rebuilt, alliances repaired and trust re-won but it seemed as if there were nothing they could do to fix this. How could you repair something that was so catastrophically broken? Steve sank to his knees beside the genius, all he wanted to do was hold his hand like he used to when Tony had been injured and was lying in some awful bed in one of S.H.I.E.L.D's medical facilities, but he had long since lost that right.

Tony looked so small on the ill-fitting cot, where there had previously been some muscle definition there was nothing of the strength that Tony had had. Bones jutted out against his sallow looking skin, far too easy to detect. Bruises littered his skin amongst the grease and other grime that was all over the genius, his knuckles were bloody and raw as if he had been punching things with no care for the harm that he caused himself. He looked so frail, so very breakable in a way that he never had before. Bucky remembered Tony having hair that was so carefully styled, there was nothing stylish or even cared for about the shortly cropped strands on his head now. He looked like his hair had been shaved ready for a stay in prison. Underneath his eyes were dark circles, really he looked like someone had punched him. How long had it been since Tony had gotten a full night of sleep or a decent meal? 

"Friday what's wrong with Tony? How long has he been like this?" Steve's throat constricted as he fought against tears that he refused to shed, he needed to be strong.

"He hasn't been well since his return from Siberia, though his medical health has severely declined in the last six months." Friday still sounded pissed, it was amazing how angry Tony's AI could sound for something that wasn't supposed to be able to feel.

"Declined? What do you mean declined?" Bucky asked as he looked at Steve, he knew from prior discussions that Tony had had heart problems but he thought those had been fixed with something called Extremis. At least that's what Steve had told him.

"It's not my place to say, if you want more information I suggest you ask Boss. We have been looking out for him, those who remained made sure that his health wasn't overlooked." And wasn't that the crux of the matter, if they had stayed maybe this wouldn't be happening. 

Tony stirred at the sound of voices in his lab.  _What are people doing in my lab? I thought I told Friday not to let anyone in, not that that does any good these days. Damn AI always letting Rhodey in with sandwiches or other food I don't want. Or worse, Bruce and his painful needles, foul tasting concoctions and other unnecessary medical crap. A whole lot of prodding and poking that I don't need._ Tony opened his eyes ready to give Bruce or Rhodey an earful, what greeted him, however, was the worried stare of two super soldiers. Suddenly Tony couldn't breathe, his hands coming up to claw at his chest. _Where's my suit? I need my suit!_ Panic coursed through Tony's veins.

Steve noticed the change in Tony immediately, his super hearing picking up on the change in his heartbeat as Tony slowly came to wakefulness. Steve also heard the rapid change in his heart rate as recognition swept over him. He didn't blame Tony, he would probably think they were here to kill him if their places were reversed. Bucky stepped backwards wanting to communicate to Tony that he wasn't a threat. He wasn't going to harm him, and if he had any say in it no one was going to harm the man ever again, not under his watch.

"Tony it's okay, we aren't here to hurt you. We just wanted to check on you." Steve fought the urge to place his hands over Tony's and pry them from his chest. It was something Steve had noticed that Tony had done when he was nervous back in the days when he still had his arc reactor.

Tony didn't calm down at his words, how long had that voice and baby blue eyes haunted his nightmares? Tony could still feel the phantom steel fingers locked around his throat slowly robbing him of precious air. 

"Boss I let them in the lab, I have their assurances that they won't hurt you. You need to breathe." Friday sounded panicked, she wasn't unaccustomed to Tony's panic attacks but she had never witnessed him have one under these circumstances. "It's okay Boss, Bruce and Rhodey are on their way down now. Come on Boss breathe!"

Bucky stared in horror at Tony unsure of what to do, he so badly wanted to comfort the man but how could he possibly do so when he was the reason he was reacting like this? His decision was made for him when Tony stopped being able to drag in breaths at all, helplessly clawing at his throat. Without even thinking he rushed forward, pushing Steve aside in his haste.

"Tony, look at me! We need you to breathe, do you hear me? Come on look at my chest in and out, nice and slow. I know you can do this, Steve tells me you're a genius." Tony fought against him, the last thing he needed was a shouty ex-assassin, parent killing super soldier all up in his face. 

Bucky wasn't phased in the least, he wanted Tony to fight against him. At least if he was fighting he was overcoming the panic in some small measure. Tony was a thinker, but no one could think in the face of panic. Bucky hoped that if he could pull the genius out his panic he would be able to think logically again and realise that he and Steve posed no threat, not to him at least.

"Nuh uh Punk, breathe that's it come on." Bucky calmly pulled Tony's hands from around the geniuses neck and placed them against his own broad chest. "Feel me breathe, nice deep breaths in and out." Bucky held Tony's hands in place, feeling how cold and frail he really was. 

"'m not a fucking baby!" Tony snarled at him between ragged breathing, his eyes locked with Bucky's glaring hatefully at the man trying to help him to breathe. 

"Buck maybe we should just go?" Steve spoke over the soft sound of the lab doors opening and admitting Bruce and Rhodey. 

"Steve if you leave this fucking room right now I will kill you. Pull your shit together, amazingly this isn't about you." Bucky didn't bother to even tear his gaze away from Tony, his main focus right now was getting Tony to continue to slow down his breaths.

Steve sufficiently admonished just stared at the ground. He had never felt so helpless in all his life. He wasn't one to run from a fight, but for the first time in his life, he was tempted to run and keep on running. This wasn't a battle that he thought he could win. Heck, he didn't even know how to fight this one, he was as lost as he had ever been.

"What's this, trouble in paradise?" Tony panted out, his breathing finally starting to even out. Bucky couldn't help himself he huffed out a laugh, trust Tony to be having a panic attack and still manage to be a smart ass. He was living up to his reputation after all.

"Tony!" Bruce called as he ran towards Tony, already pulling the cap off of a needle.  _Please be breathing, please be breathing, please be breathing...._

"What in the fuck did you do to Tony?" Rhodey snarled as he grabbed Steve by his shirt and shoved. Steve let himself be pushed, he wasn't going to fight against Rhodey far too aware of the damage he could do to his legs. It was a small miracle that between Tony and Bruce that Rhodey was walking again, there was no way that he was going to jeopardise that. Not again.

"Answer me now Rogers before I beat the shit out of you!" Tony looked up in panic.  _No Rhodes! He'll kill you, don't do this. Not for me._ Bruce, ever the calm one, turned around placing his hands on Rhodey's shoulders, restraining the Colonel.

"James, this isn't the time. Tony needs us." Rhodey reluctantly released Steve and turned to face Tony and Bruce.

"Thank you." Steve looked over to Bruce.

"Don't thank me Rogers, when we get out of here it's not Rhodey you need to fear." His eyes flashed green even as he turned his attention to Tony. 

Bucky had largely ignored what was going on behind him, noticing enough only to move into Tony's line of sight effectively blocking out what was happening behind him. They could all squabble later, right now they needed to focus on keeping Tony calm and breathing somewhat normally. He actively remained calm, his breathing and heart rate normal as he willed Tony to do the same, his hands firmly pressed against Bucky's chest. Bruce slowly moved into Tony and Bucky's peripheral vision, he didn't want to startle either one of them but he did need to get close enough to exam Tony.

"I need you to keep his focus on you, I have to inject him and it's going to hurt. Clear?" Bruce spoke so softly Tony couldn't possibly have heard him, Bucky only did thanks to his advanced hearing. It may not have been as good as Steve's but he still got the message loud and clear. He nodded just enough to let Bruce know that he had heard him. Bruce edged closer to the cot, gingerly placing his weight down next to Tony. Tony startled at the presence next to him obviously knowing what was about to happen.  _This isn't the first time this has happened is it, Tony?_

"I gotta say Stark, I'm not a fan of the new haircut. What happened, you lose a fight with a pair of clippers?" Bucky tried for a light tone, but his words were dripping with worry he just hoped that Tony didn't notice. He really needed him to stay calm. It must have worked Tony just glared at him.

"Oh fuck you Russian Barbie, we can't all have hydralicious hair styles." Bucky laughed in spite of himself. He had long since left the Winter Soldier behind but everyone was still hesitant to bring anything regarding Hydra or his past up in general conversation. He wasn't okay with what he had done, not in the least, but he had come to some small measure of acceptance, he wasn't that man anymore; he was Bucky. It was refreshing to have someone who wasn't going to walk on eggshells around him, even Steve treated him with kid gloves, but then if Tony wasn't afraid of the hulk why would he be afraid of the Winter Soldier? 

"You always try to be a smart ass Stark or is this just your natural state?" Tony growled at him but it was half-hearted at best.

" I wouldn't know what you're talking abou-" His words were cut off as Bruce injected him, his whole body going rigid. "The fuck Bruce, at least warn a guy before you do that or take me to dinner first. That doesn't tickle ya know?"Usually, the reply would have been biting but this time, his voice was just laced with pain. 

"Tony what's happened to you?" Steve spoke up for the first time since Bruce had put him in his place. Tony stiffened pulling his hands free of Bucky's grasp. Bucky, for his part, fought the urge to keep his hands there.

"Careful Rogers, someone might think you care." Tony spat out as he tried to stand, gripping Bruce's arm for support. 

"Tony I do care if I didn't I wouldn't have come ba-" 

"You came back because I cleared your name, don't pretend you and your boy wonder came back for anyone but yourselves!" Tony bit out, wildly spinning to face Steve, Bruce still holding him up.

"We're here to make things right Tony." Bucky tried, maybe if he wouldn't listen to Steve he would listen to him.

"Right? You're here to make things right?!" Tony laughed incredulously. "You don't get to make anything right Barnes, you killed my parents! You weren't here, neither of you were and you took the others away as well. Well, guess what? The bad guys had no consideration for the fact that you weren't here, we still had to fight. We had to go out there every damn time and face off against whatever fresh new hell had been sent our way with just three guys. Do you even know how many times we came close to losing or dying? Do you? We didn't even stand a fighting chance until Bruce came back."

"Oh and FYI you aren't the leader of this team anymore, you aren't the leader of shit. Fucking look at that Steve!" Tony gestured wildly behind him to the wall that had previously escaped both Bucky and Steve's notice.  _What is that?_ The wall was littered with hundreds of photographs each one of them fighting for space, many having lost the battle lay overlapping one another.

"Tony I don't understand?"Steve held his hands out plaintively, begging Tony to understand, to hear him. Rhodey moved into Steve's view, unable to stay quiet any longer.

"That's everyone that died since the Avengers started. Every one of those lives we are responsible for taking, that's what Tony was trying to stop with the Accords. But you wouldn't listen, you have to be at the table to be heard Steve but you couldn't understand that. Tony has been trying to keep us all together, keep us all safe. Even after you left he was still looking after you, still cleaning up your messes. He's the one that has to look at that wall day in and day out, he's the one who contacts the families and bears witness to their grief and most of the times he's the one who gets the blame for the shit we all do!" Rhodey clenched his fists tightly at his side, he so badly wanted to hurt Steve. The man didn't get it, it was more than just the hurt and betrayal of what he had done it was the cost of it.

"I'm sorry Tony, I'm so sorry." There was nothing else that Steve could say. They were right, they had been all along.

"You never saw me, I was just the guy with the money. It was always about Bucky, no matter who it endangered or pissed off you just always made it about him. You could have come to me, could have trusted me. I was your teammate, I thought I was your friend." Tony sounded so sad, gone was the defiance and anger of before, now there was only desolation and sadness in its place. Bucky's heart ached at Tony's words.  _This is all my fault._

"We have time to fix this Tony, we can finally be a team. Steve isn't just going to run off to chase after me anymore."

"I'm all out of time Bucky." Tony's voice broke at that admission.

"Tony..." Bruce warned. There was something that they weren't being told, something that all three of them were keeping from the rest of the team.

"Gonna find out soon enough Bruce." Tony looked up at them both. "I guess you both got your wish. I'm dying." With that, he turned and left the lab cradled between Bruce and Rhodey. 

 _No, this isn't possible, this can't be happening._ Steve thought even as his vision went black around the edges and he fell gracelessly to the floor.  _Tony can't die._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still super pissed at Steve, can you tell? Anyways, let me know what you think. Also, I am happy to take any requests that you may have so feel free to let me know. Everything gets better, it'll stop being so depressing soon but the next few chapters are going to be less than pleasant.
> 
> I will also eventually forgive Steve, its just not going to be soon.


	3. Not Just A Pretty Face

Bucky paced the length of his room, each angry step chewing into the carpet beneath his feet. He wanted to run, he wanted to fight, he wanted to do a million things; anything but face the fact that Tony was dying.  _How could Stark be dying?_ The man had survived torture, shrapnel to the chest, numerous arc reactors, slow palladium poisoning not to mention the numerous attempts at pickling his own internal organs with top shelf liquor - so how could he now be dying? 

Bucky hadn't stuck around after the scene in the lab, he'd wanted to follow Tony but Friday had once more locked both himself and Steve away from any areas of the compound that she deemed as purely Tony's. He hadn't been able to look Steve in the eyes, hadn't wanted to peel him off the floor and put him back together like he usually would have. Not this time. Neither of them deserved to be anything but broken at Tony's confession. He knew that they could have done more, that Steve could have done more in his absence. 

They should have pulled their heads out of their asses much sooner than they had, there were an infinite amount of ways that they could have handled what happened. How many times had they had the opportunity to return home if they had just signed the damn accords? Instead, they had all let pride cloud their judgement each thinking that they were right and oh so just for standing up for what they believed in. The truth was that they were drama queens. The accords could have been amended, and yes it would have taken time and they would have needed to win back the trust that they had so easily broken but it _could_ have been done. 

If Steve had just spoken to his teammates instead of going off on his own little mission, if Bucky had of just cooperated from the start instead of running, if....if, if, if. The 'if's' were killing him. The biggest one of all being if they had just told Tony, and everyone else for that matter, what they knew, that there were other Winter Soldiers out there and they posed a huge threat. They could have faced it as a team and dealt with the whole 'wanted fugitives' thing later because really it wasn't a secret that Tony knew his way around politicians almost as well as he did his tech. 

Bucky might not have had to sit on ice again in Wakanda for eighteen months while T'Challa's team of scientists tried to figure out how to work around HYDRA tech that was responsible for the Winter Soldiers programming. How long had it taken for them realise that it wasn't psychological programming and a few command words that caused him to resurface but in actuality literal programming in nearly undetectable nanotechnology that responded to spoken commands in the same way a computer responded to inputted commands? Bucky knew deep down despite all that he had done that Stark would have helped him, that's just what he did.

He'd read the man's file enough times in the intervening months since his return to himself and eventually the world to know that Tony was exactly the kind of man that he would have wanted on his side. _In another life I think I would have called you friend._ He knew that he had his faults, hell his own list of faults was a mile long, but underneath all that crap and fluff that he threw at the world to try and disguise it Tony was a good guy. A genuinely _good_ guy. They had all been so wrong, Tony was the best of them all, everything he'd done even his mistakes had been because he had felt that he needed to protect everyone. He just wanted every damn person in the world to be safe. 

 _There has to be something we can do. Something that I can do. I took his parents away from him, I'm the reason he never feels safe, I can't be one of the reasons that he dies._ Bucky snarled, punching the wall in front of him. It felt so satisfying to feel the plaster crumble beneath the weight of his fist, to feel his flesh and bone hand groan at the force of his hit, feel the skin sting and burn as it was scrapped away by the rough surface of the wall. 

"Barnes is there a reason you're putting holes in the Boss's wall or are you just bored again?" Of course, Friday would be monitoring him even in the privacy of his own room, Stark's AI chose to ignore the concept of privacy entirely. Bucky snarled but didn't look up, he'd finally just broken himself of the habit of wildly looking around for the disembodied voice.

"What's wrong with Tony, Friday?" He was going to get answers one way or another. He heard Friday sigh, maybe this wasn't going to be as hard as he thought it was.

"It's Extremis, the technology that was saving his life is no longer working. It cannot correct its programming and repair Boss at the same time. It's slowly shutting down, as it were, and as it does his body is being shut down as well. At the current rate of systematic failure of Extremis that we are seeing Boss has less than six months before total failure.... which will result in his death." Friday sounded so sad, for an artificial intelligence she could show an alarming amount of humanity at times.

"Where is Bruce right now?" 

"He's in the lab with Rogers, it seems as if your friend may have suffered a panic attack." Bucky ran, he didn't care what acerbic comments Friday may have wanted to throw his way about Steve.

"Banner!" Bucky burst into the lab throwing open the door violently in his haste to get to the Doctor.

"Bu-" Bruce started, his face contorted in confusion even as he tried to continue to comfort Steve while the man breathed into a paper bag.

"No shut up, you listen to me for a minute. I get it, we fucked up but I need you to focus less on teaching me a lesson right now and more on how to fix Tony." The look of confusion on Bruce's face only intensified at that. _Oh, this should be interesting, a super soldier who's convinced he has all the answers. Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, idiot twin number two with the paper bag mashed over his face._

"You can use us, the serum that's in us. If it can fix everything that was wrong with Steve than surely it can fix Tony!" Steve pushed the paper bag away from his face at Bucky's outburst.

"Buck, Bruce can't just whack together some magic serum to fix Tony. It took Erksine years to perfect the formula, I don't think....look, Tony doesn't have that long okay." Lord help him but Bucky really wanted to punch him in the face, panic attack or not. 

"We already thought about that Bucky, it's not just that easy, Steve is right." Bruce really wished it was that easy.

"You thought about the serum that Steve got am I right? You didn't think about the serum that made me the Winter Soldier. Friday told me that Extremis is basically tech and that there's a problem with its programming and it can't correct that and continue to keep Tony alive at the same time? But what if it didn't have to?"

"That would theoretically fix the problem providing that Extremis was able to correct the problem within its own programming then everything should return to normal."

"But couldn't it just happen again in the future? Extremis not working I mean?" Steve meekly asked, technology was never going to be his strongest suit.

"No," Bruce replied "Extremis is self-evolving it would not only correct the malfunction in the programming but make sure that whatever caused it was not able to do so in the future. Its main purpose is to remain functioning so that it can heal Tony, at the moment its unable to do either so it's simply shutting down."  

"I didn't get some flashy serum like Steve got, mine had nanotechnology to compensate for the things that it couldn't do and also to make sure that any assets were kept in line. T'Challa and his team found a way to render my nanites inert and to leave the serum in it basest form. Couldn't that be used on Tony?"

"Bucky we don't know how it would react with Extremis, most likely Tony's body would be further weakened by trying to fight off what it perceived as a threat, which is what the nanites would be. Not to mention that even on some rare chance that it worked we don't have a ready supply of it handy unless you know something that I don't?" Bucky had to smile at that.

"You said Extremis is shutting down so it won't be able to fight the nanites until it gets itself back on line again, it main course of action would be to repair itself so that it could attack the threat. Meanwhile, the serum can keep Tony alive and when Extremis fixes itself it'll purge the serum from his body the way it would any other threat, am I right?" 

"We still don't have any serum Bucky, I'd need to run tests and confirm all of this before I even think about going anywhere near Tony with it."

"We do have the serum, T'Challa's people synthesised a whole bunch back when they were treating Bucky and they kept it in case the serum had any application in medicine besides the manufacturing of super soldiers." For the first time since the wretched visit to the workshop Steve looked as if he had some hope in his eyes.

"There's no quitting with either of you two is there? Alright we'll give it a go, but I make no promises and you do not breathe a word of this to Tony or I will let the other guy handle you, am I clear?" Bruce smiled despite himself, maybe he'd have to reevaluate his feelings on all things Bucky related.

Bucky smiled at Steve as they both nodded vaguely in Bruce's direction, they'd agree to anything if it meant it might help. Steve pulled himself up out of the chair that he was sprawled in, there were a few calls that he had to make that couldn't wait.

"One more thing you two, before you leave," Bruce spoke at their retreating figures, "after everything you did, why this? Why now?"

"We owe him this, we we everyone he's ever helped or will help this because the world needs more people like him in it." Steve spoke up confidently, he had never been more convinced of anything in his life.

"Yeah, what the punk said. Besides, I hear Tony grows on you after a while and I don't want him dying before I get the chance to see that side of him." Steve chuckled at that, trust Bucky to be so sure that the serum was the answer. Bruce nodded, he wasn't quite sure that he believed them but he desperately wanted to. He would do anything not to lose Tony, he was the only person in the world who made him feel normal, made him feel like he actually fit somewhere.

"Good, now get out of my lab. I have a genius to save and I don't need you to throwing off my groove. Go braid eachothers hair or something." 

Steve and Bucky smiled from ear to ear as they left. Their world was still upside down, Tony was still dying and the majority of people in the Avengers complex still regarded them with varying levels of hostility but maybe they had found a way to navigate the wreckage of their lives. This was by no means a solution, but at least it was a beginning and in their line of work that was all that they could ask for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter more Tony and you'll start to get to see the beginnings of an actual relationship beyond mere snarking between Bucky and Steve.
> 
> Hope you all liked it, let me know!

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! Hope it was enjoyable and not just utter crap as it was, admittedly, written at a very late hour after reading a bunch of Tony bashing things that just left me enraged so then this fic was spawned.


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